Zoombies: Humanities greatest threat. Also...."AAAAAAAARGH NOOOOOO IT'S KILLING ME!!!! I'M IN SO MUCH--AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!"

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooookay...well this was not a disappointment! It's only 90 minutes long, and definitely worth the watch...if you plan on making a drinking game out of this.

It's kind of like a poor attempt at making a Jurassic Park inspired film but with a wildlife sanctuary for the endangered species mixed with a zombie like virus that attacks the brain but only affects animals outside of the human race. And of course, like all great outbreak films this one starts with infected monkies.

No I'm not generalizing because I don't know the difference between a monkey and a chimpanzee. A fucking...monkey. A face eating, flesh scratching, dick ripping monkey. Honestly these little guys are probably the most frightening part of this whole film. Which is fine and all, but did it really have to be so cliche? Really though, look at that cute little adorable flesh eating face. And yes, they do eat dicks. It's just not shown on screen...ooooor written in the script. But trust me!! They do it!!!

Now this is absolutely not a film that is to be taken seriously. This "sanctuary" was filmed on the old LA zoo site, and as a native to the area it was easy to spot. And also hard to swallow. At one point in the movie I had a Picard moment.

"You mean to tell me a gorilla can't climb that?!"

I could make a list of things I found awful about this film, but instead let's make a list of times for you to drink when watching Zoombies.

Any time someone makes an awful face: Drink

When you spot a CG animal: Drink

If you have the same gorilla costume in your closet: Do 3 shots

If you have the same giraffe mask in your home: Finish your drink and do 3 shots.

When someone makes a memorable quote: Drink

When you forget said memorable quote: Drink

If you can tell who will die during the character introduction scenes: Drink for each person when they die.

All in all this film felt more like it was trying to become a cult film without outwardly making it known the way Sharknado did.

In closing this movie was so awful and terrible that I found myself back on the other side of the fence enjoying myself as laughed at this nonsense. So bad in fact that I can't properly use the Five Kill Rating system. In it's place I give it Murder Cheese.

Just one though, because your life is still complete without this film having occupied 90 minutes of it.